Hindsight

I wrote this about a week ago: "I don't know how to tell my friend (Mo) she's coming off stuck up and is going to ruin things with the guy she likes ... and ruin things for me with the crush I have on her guy's friend..."

Well, now I feel bad because that's not the case...

I thought last weekend could have gone differently. He was on 3 hours of sleep, beat, and yet he still came out and sat down with people that Mo knew. She could have gone over to say "Hi" and "I'm glad you decided to come out" or something - that's not going out of her way or being creepy or chasing. I mean, she knew other people there, she told him we were out, so that'd be ok, that'd be meeting him halfway after he'd made the effort to come out when he said he wasn't really up for it. Anyway, we were standing with a bunch of people he didn't know (guys too, for that matter), so I can see why he didn't approach us that night. I'll give him that. She didn't approach him though and he didn't approach her and so they never ended up talking at all when he left several minutes after showing up.

However, a few nights ago the situation was completely different - no logical excuses I can think of for him this night. For starters, Mo was facing the window, so when he showed up, I said "hi" and waved to him when I saw him. I figured I'd try to grab his attention for her, be friendly since I had met him before. Then, Mo said hi too and waved. So, we both saw him, caught his attention and said hi.

Unlike the first time, we weren't wandering around or talking to other people this time either ... no, this time we were by ourselves with an empty table next to us - there is no reason this crazy analyzing mind of mine can come up with that he didn't come over to talk if he actually likes her or has any interest. Once again, he showed up, basically blew her off and left. I don't get it! And, believe me, I've been thinking about it because I know how frustrated and stressed Mo is about this whole thing.

::sigh::

I think I just generally feel bad today from lack of sleep and the way this weekend went. I hate the swirling emotions that have been going on this weekend. Friday found me feeling upset and threatened and defensive and like I'd have to honestly fight someone ... or get one of the guys to toss that creep out for me. Last night ended up being not what I (or anyone, I think) was expecting: a random group and an early night. Plus my favorite hockey team lost (caught the end of the game at the bar). Then, AliCat had to go and get defensive over a general comment I made. I'm still all, I don't know, flustered about that ... no matter how much I've tried to brush it off. It's not my fault she took a general comment of mine to be so personal. Not my fault I have a different opinion of things. We're both single now, so I don't know why she thinks her way of things are so much better than mine.

I'm going to go home, take a bath and maybe the rest of the day will make up for this whole weekend ... but I'm not counting on it. Hope I can shake this funk.