over the past 7 years I have been moving... into my college apartments and out of them each year, into my condo, then out of it when I lost my license (seizures) and moved back on campus, from my home of 20 years to my parents' new home, to my apartment and back to my parents'. Needless to say, there are boxes and boxes of things I have just never unpacked. Here's a random list of the things I have found/come across while diving through my closet today in and around some of these boxes (cause god knows things have just fallen and gotten lost in between too)...
- 2 random chargers, sadly they do not fit my current phone
- bank statements
- school girl costume (perfect timing though I already have one for tomorrow)
- 2 computer games
- broken head phones
- my favorite green thong
- several socks
- some cute shoes I had forgotten and one lonely strange (ugly) one I don't recall buying
- flavored sex lube - sounds gross, but I swear, it's so good I used to occasionally eat it like candy (I embrace my weirdness)
- contact cleaning solution
- 2 winter scarves, 3 dressy scarves, 2 shawls
- various bathing suit pieces
- the wrap around tie thingy to my robe (this has been missing FOREVER!!)
- stones I used to keep for luck and love and passion
- a necklace I l-o-v-e and forgot I had
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
XXX***
Sundays are always fun out at this bar in South Philly. Mo and I head over there, have a couple drinks, usually dance, talk, hang out, etc. Doesn't matter if it's just Mo and me or a bunch of ladies we know meeting up - Sundays are always a nice change of pace.
Sometimes, when we're extra lucky, some gorgeous guys who also happen to be play hockey end up coming out to this bar too. This Sunday that happened! And nice guys were out too and one in particular that Mo likes and has randomly talked to on and off. He vanished outside for a bit and I told Mo she should go out. She said she wasn't just going to walk out after him like some creeper chasing after him. Knowing she'd need an excuse, I told her to play with her phone and use that as her excuse as to why she stepped out. She still wasn't going. After a few minutes though, she grabbed me and we headed outside
There he was (we'll call him 2A) along with one of his teammates, Reg - I introduced myself to both the guys and while Mo talked to 2A, I spent my time talking to Reg some. All I kept thinking was: He's gorgeous!! (and was seeming really nice)
The night goes on, we're drinking, dancing, Mo's getting flirted with and telling me I've got eyes on me (some girls just say this, but I'm not kidding -ask Mo- I am OBLIVIOUS to that). We were over by the guys for awhile, and I was right by this one guy I've been crushing on, DCrush. Sadly, the most interaction I had with him was when he asked me to pass a shot to someone ... oh, and at one point I saw him grab Mo's ass - excellent! (not!)
Reg, on the other hand, came up to me at some point, bumped into me (on purpose) and we started talking a bit more. Later in the night, he said his friend was having a party and asked if I'd come over. The friend he was referring to was 2A who had actually already invited Mo, so I was going ... and so was DCrush, apparently, though he hadn't said much to me at all - I'm not kidding when the handing the shot thing over was about all he said to me.
I could've made a move on DCrush - don't think I didn't consider it: at the bar, I sat there for awhile just wondering if I could get the guts up to just walk up to him, introduce myself and throw out something slick like, "So, I have a slight crush on you." Later, at 2A's, I sat down on this ottoman thing between Mo and DCrush and was thinking, "I could just go over and sit on his lap or the arm of his chair." HOWEVER I didn't know he was interested in me and Reg was obviously interested in me and had asked me to 2A's ... so, it came down to taking the chance of getting shot down by my crush (DCrush) OR spending more time with the guy who's obviously interested in me (Reg).
After leaving the bar, Mo and I got into Mo's car to find these guys in the parking lot their cars were in and the plan was to follow them over to 2A's. I swear, I felt like I was going to be sick. My nerves plus all the alcohol I had was not mixing well. I'm blaming that damn sweet twisted tea someone bought me -don't know who- I don't like Twisted Tea, but I guess whoever thought I did since Mo's empty was sitting in front of me. I didn't puke, but it definitely felt like a sure thing for awhile there. Waiting for everyone to get together, Reg leaned into our waiting car window and started free styling to a song Mo had on in her car. the whole thing was a little surreal, too funny and he was really cute.
The 'party' was more like a handful of people. Our three girls actually ended up leaving not too long after getting there too. After I walked them out, I walked back in and there I was with 2A and Mo (obviously together), Reg on the sofa with them with a space open from where our one friend had gotten up when she left and then DCrush was in a chair off to the one side. I, wisely, sat down on like a little ottoman right between the sofa and the chair DCrush was in ... but it didn't take long before Reg asked me to come sit between him and Mo ... and I did.
DCrush still hadn't really said a thing to me and not too long after I moved to the sofa, he actually left ... don't think for a moment I wasn't completely upset by this. I kept pinching Mo as DCrush was getting up, putting on his sweatshirt and as he walked out ,,. I kept pinching her and squeezing her hand. I was so torn. He said goodnight at the door and I was thinking to myself, "Get up. Get up! And ask to go with him" ... but I didn't. I was too nervous he'd say no - not to mention, Mo was my ride and she was obviously staying with 2A.
I stayed and not long after DCrush left, Mo ended up going upstairs with 2A, the guy she's liked and was finally getting some alone time with. I was left on the sofa with Reg ... I'm not complaining, but it definitely felt a little awkward. We talked for awhile about his family, places he'd lived, I asked him what the most random part of living in outside the country was compared to here and if he liked it around here. We started kissing and such. Going outside of my character, I slept with him even though we just met - I've never done that! But he was such a good kisser and so nice. It was good and loud and so amazing ... especially after the stupid, boring jerk I was with last (I don't know why I wasted so much time on BandJ).
Mo woke me up around 6 AM to leave and it felt like I had just fallen asleep with Reg (I was so warm next to him even though we just had a sheet in 2A's spare room). We dropped Reg off and he asked if he had my number. I think he heard "Yea" when I said "Nah" and so I don't know if I'm ever even going to talk to him again ... probably not, I'm guessing, since the entire night was so random.
There's always consequences for me though! Apparently DCrush was interested in me too, but shy - too shy to say a damn thing, I guess. Damn it, damn it, damn it ... and he saw me with Reg - I mean, DCrush left me there. He was there and left. So now, what could have been a ridiculously good night, is being like overshadowed with me feeling kinda whore-ish for sleeping with Reg when I just met him AND feeling like I fucked up any chance I had with DCrush.
Yea, he left and who knows what could have gone on from there (I could've been a good, lil angel and done nothing) ... but I'm sure he's gonna find out if he hasn't already. They had practice this morning, a train ride to DC at some point, etc and not only do I know 2A heard us, Reg's got to have bite marks on him too - it's a bad habit I'm normally ok not doing, but when I slide my teeth over him and apologized, he encouraged it and I loved it ... keeps me a bit quieter lol
Here's the things I've been realizing about the whole situation: I was interested in DCrush. I am interested in him. He's adorable and seems fun. But I hadn't done more than like kiss a guy since JULY and Reg was hitting on me. I wish DCrush had, but Reg did - so I was alone with him. I'm just having a horrible time in general, I guess, because I'm bad with random, random sex is not something I do.
Sunday was a couple firsts for me: NEVER have I slept with someone the first night I met them and never have I slept with someone I might never even see again (he doesn't have my number). I just hadn't slept with anyone in so long and I wanted something good and a distraction from everything else in my life. Not to mention, I can't deny I didn't like Reg when I first saw him. He's gorgeous, but I never even considered crushing on him or coming up with silly ideas of being with him. He's so damn put together and I'm known to never wear matching socks when I do wear shoes - come on now! Then, on top of all that, DCrush is adorable and I'm afraid that's completely messed up now so I'm definitely beating myself up.
So, yea, I'm completely torn about the night. I'm just not all that good with random. It's absolutely not something I do, so to look kinda whore-ish when I'm definitely not sucks. And then there's also like this big sign that keeps flashing is: You slept with some guy you'll probably never hear from again AND your crush was interested in you, but that's all ruined now. Agh. I don't know how to feel about all of this - it's just too much.
"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."" -Robert Sexton
Sometimes, when we're extra lucky, some gorgeous guys who also happen to be play hockey end up coming out to this bar too. This Sunday that happened! And nice guys were out too and one in particular that Mo likes and has randomly talked to on and off. He vanished outside for a bit and I told Mo she should go out. She said she wasn't just going to walk out after him like some creeper chasing after him. Knowing she'd need an excuse, I told her to play with her phone and use that as her excuse as to why she stepped out. She still wasn't going. After a few minutes though, she grabbed me and we headed outside
There he was (we'll call him 2A) along with one of his teammates, Reg - I introduced myself to both the guys and while Mo talked to 2A, I spent my time talking to Reg some. All I kept thinking was: He's gorgeous!! (and was seeming really nice)
The night goes on, we're drinking, dancing, Mo's getting flirted with and telling me I've got eyes on me (some girls just say this, but I'm not kidding -ask Mo- I am OBLIVIOUS to that). We were over by the guys for awhile, and I was right by this one guy I've been crushing on, DCrush. Sadly, the most interaction I had with him was when he asked me to pass a shot to someone ... oh, and at one point I saw him grab Mo's ass - excellent! (not!)
Reg, on the other hand, came up to me at some point, bumped into me (on purpose) and we started talking a bit more. Later in the night, he said his friend was having a party and asked if I'd come over. The friend he was referring to was 2A who had actually already invited Mo, so I was going ... and so was DCrush, apparently, though he hadn't said much to me at all - I'm not kidding when the handing the shot thing over was about all he said to me.
I could've made a move on DCrush - don't think I didn't consider it: at the bar, I sat there for awhile just wondering if I could get the guts up to just walk up to him, introduce myself and throw out something slick like, "So, I have a slight crush on you." Later, at 2A's, I sat down on this ottoman thing between Mo and DCrush and was thinking, "I could just go over and sit on his lap or the arm of his chair." HOWEVER I didn't know he was interested in me and Reg was obviously interested in me and had asked me to 2A's ... so, it came down to taking the chance of getting shot down by my crush (DCrush) OR spending more time with the guy who's obviously interested in me (Reg).
After leaving the bar, Mo and I got into Mo's car to find these guys in the parking lot their cars were in and the plan was to follow them over to 2A's. I swear, I felt like I was going to be sick. My nerves plus all the alcohol I had was not mixing well. I'm blaming that damn sweet twisted tea someone bought me -don't know who- I don't like Twisted Tea, but I guess whoever thought I did since Mo's empty was sitting in front of me. I didn't puke, but it definitely felt like a sure thing for awhile there. Waiting for everyone to get together, Reg leaned into our waiting car window and started free styling to a song Mo had on in her car. the whole thing was a little surreal, too funny and he was really cute.
The 'party' was more like a handful of people. Our three girls actually ended up leaving not too long after getting there too. After I walked them out, I walked back in and there I was with 2A and Mo (obviously together), Reg on the sofa with them with a space open from where our one friend had gotten up when she left and then DCrush was in a chair off to the one side. I, wisely, sat down on like a little ottoman right between the sofa and the chair DCrush was in ... but it didn't take long before Reg asked me to come sit between him and Mo ... and I did.
DCrush still hadn't really said a thing to me and not too long after I moved to the sofa, he actually left ... don't think for a moment I wasn't completely upset by this. I kept pinching Mo as DCrush was getting up, putting on his sweatshirt and as he walked out ,,. I kept pinching her and squeezing her hand. I was so torn. He said goodnight at the door and I was thinking to myself, "Get up. Get up! And ask to go with him" ... but I didn't. I was too nervous he'd say no - not to mention, Mo was my ride and she was obviously staying with 2A.
I stayed and not long after DCrush left, Mo ended up going upstairs with 2A, the guy she's liked and was finally getting some alone time with. I was left on the sofa with Reg ... I'm not complaining, but it definitely felt a little awkward. We talked for awhile about his family, places he'd lived, I asked him what the most random part of living in outside the country was compared to here and if he liked it around here. We started kissing and such. Going outside of my character, I slept with him even though we just met - I've never done that! But he was such a good kisser and so nice. It was good and loud and so amazing ... especially after the stupid, boring jerk I was with last (I don't know why I wasted so much time on BandJ).
Mo woke me up around 6 AM to leave and it felt like I had just fallen asleep with Reg (I was so warm next to him even though we just had a sheet in 2A's spare room). We dropped Reg off and he asked if he had my number. I think he heard "Yea" when I said "Nah" and so I don't know if I'm ever even going to talk to him again ... probably not, I'm guessing, since the entire night was so random.
There's always consequences for me though! Apparently DCrush was interested in me too, but shy - too shy to say a damn thing, I guess. Damn it, damn it, damn it ... and he saw me with Reg - I mean, DCrush left me there. He was there and left. So now, what could have been a ridiculously good night, is being like overshadowed with me feeling kinda whore-ish for sleeping with Reg when I just met him AND feeling like I fucked up any chance I had with DCrush.
Yea, he left and who knows what could have gone on from there (I could've been a good, lil angel and done nothing) ... but I'm sure he's gonna find out if he hasn't already. They had practice this morning, a train ride to DC at some point, etc and not only do I know 2A heard us, Reg's got to have bite marks on him too - it's a bad habit I'm normally ok not doing, but when I slide my teeth over him and apologized, he encouraged it and I loved it ... keeps me a bit quieter lol
Here's the things I've been realizing about the whole situation: I was interested in DCrush. I am interested in him. He's adorable and seems fun. But I hadn't done more than like kiss a guy since JULY and Reg was hitting on me. I wish DCrush had, but Reg did - so I was alone with him. I'm just having a horrible time in general, I guess, because I'm bad with random, random sex is not something I do.
Sunday was a couple firsts for me: NEVER have I slept with someone the first night I met them and never have I slept with someone I might never even see again (he doesn't have my number). I just hadn't slept with anyone in so long and I wanted something good and a distraction from everything else in my life. Not to mention, I can't deny I didn't like Reg when I first saw him. He's gorgeous, but I never even considered crushing on him or coming up with silly ideas of being with him. He's so damn put together and I'm known to never wear matching socks when I do wear shoes - come on now! Then, on top of all that, DCrush is adorable and I'm afraid that's completely messed up now so I'm definitely beating myself up.
So, yea, I'm completely torn about the night. I'm just not all that good with random. It's absolutely not something I do, so to look kinda whore-ish when I'm definitely not sucks. And then there's also like this big sign that keeps flashing is: You slept with some guy you'll probably never hear from again AND your crush was interested in you, but that's all ruined now. Agh. I don't know how to feel about all of this - it's just too much.
"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."" -Robert Sexton
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
