So much to do...

and so little time. I'm feeling overwhelmed and yet not doing much about it. Awful, I know! I need to do write ups, send out some cards still and finish up so writing for a few emails. I'm not sure where or when I'm going to get the time, but I sure hope to ... I need to. But I procrastinate a lot - maybe that's something to work on in the new year. :) 2009 is just around the corner! Crazy! The last week and the first one of every month are a bit hectic for me, but I'm trying to enjoy this month's end.

I saw this picture today and wanted to put it somewhere:

Check out more of the website, PostSecret.

The card and "secret" also made me want to write. It's the holidays (AH!!!) and that time between Christmas and New Years that looks so long on a calendar (a whole week!) and yet passes by so quickly with visits, dinner, guests, gift giving and cheerful phone calls or cards to check on loved one. This time is packed with good feelings ... and some very lonely ones too. I've never been one to be caught under the mistletoe or get some crazy kiss on New Years. Sure, I've been friends, but the girls I've known forever are all pretty much paired up at this point and I don't think there's any time you feel like more of a third wheel than when you're tagging a long with coupled friends for the holidays. Big romance hasn't found me and that's what this PostSecret made me think of. It's a lonely wish, sad too and yet still very hopeful, I think.

I am so happy with sooo many things in my life right now and yet I feel unfulfilled too. I don't think I need to be in a relationship to feel good. I'm not throwing myself at guys and I certainly don't want to be with just anyone strictly so that I'm with someone. So, I know I don't need to be in a relationship ... but I'd like to find myself in a special one.

I hope that person ends up with someone really special before next year and picks out a tree to share. I hope I do too.

Random guy stuff

Right now, Saturdays in reality are my "Sundays" since I start my work week back up early Sunday mornings. So on Saturdays I like to sleep in, if possible. If I wake up and can't fall back to sleep, I like to at least lay in bed for awhile relaxing and maybe reading. After that, I check email, text a few friends depending on how late into the day it is and finally get around to cleaning - putting away clean laundry, organizing my things, doing some extra work for my job, food shopping, etc.

Today of all days (especially since it's Sunday) I would have loved to rest. I had about 4 hours of sleep last night ... nut I'm not going to complain. I had a really good time last night. I saw some really old friends, saw some really good friends that I don't see very often and saw my best friends too. Not to mention, I was out with Mo which is always good and I got to see my old high school buddy, Irish Girl. Mo and I also went to this nice house party - what a nice change from all the damn little kid house parties people my age are still going to. Met a cute guy too last night, MMK - definite bonus! Oh and I also got to see my one cousin that I haven't seen in awhile and then one of my favorite families: C, D and little B. I just love those guys. I went to visit them at my uncle's house so I got to see him too and Risi, my other cousin (C's youngest sister). It was a packed and busy night that involved a lot of driving, but it was nice.

Oh, big let-down of the night though: while waiting for my friend Mo, I ended up texting D the Cop which was probably silly of me (I really should just delete his number). I didn't want to call and bother him about the party that night, I'd already mentioned it the day before or something like that to him. However, I was waiting in the parking lot of a bar that he is at a lot, so I sent him a text asking him what he was up to and said that I thought of him since I was in that parking lot. Didn't hear back from him which was kind of bogus in my opinion, but it gets so much better (ie worse!) ... whos' walking out of that very bar and through the parking lot I'd been sitting in earlier when I get dropped off later to get my car? D the Cop!! Granted, I knew D the Cop was not some honest, wonderful dreamboat - I mean, he cheated on his girlfriend with me and I know I'm not the first. But I was thinking we were more along the lines of friends since we didn't start out just making out ... and I try to be honest with my friends. I don't know, maybe I hold people up to too high of standards.

The thing is, I wasn't asking him to be my boyfriend or run away with me or even beg him about coming out to this party that night - I just sent him a text asking what he was up to, totally casual. He could have just texted back that he was busy/had plans already (perfect world, he could have asked me to come in -since he was just inside!- to say hi while I waited for my friend since I said I was in the parking lot), but no. He was in that bar while I was in the parking lot and didn't even say a word, just ignored my text. And I don't know how he didn't see me rushing to my car to avoid him either when I got dropped off since I pretty much walked right passed him ... and still no word from him. I don't need that drama.

Oh my...

I drove home last night to go out with one of my BGF (best girl friends), Mo. Love her! She's a lot of fun and we go to different places, which is definitely a nice change of pace. On my way down, I figured I'd text some friends to see what they were up to. When I'm randomly in the area, why not? One of those people was D the Cop, who was at a local bar with friends and then going to a strip club.

After I got to Mo's (and was no longer texting people while driving), we went to this random bar across the river that I've never even really noticed before. All these guys started showing up and apparently they are hockey players. I don't really follow hockey, so I can't really say who I met (or was checking out lol).

I also put my hands on this gorgeous guy who was in the way of Mo getting a picture taken (I pulled him out of the shot). I find out later that apparently the gorgeous guy is Jeff Carter? Ah! Hello, handsome! Yum.

While still at the bar, D the Cop starts texting me again - from the strip club!! And basically writes "I'm going home now. Are you coming?" Though we've flirted whenever we see each other, it's never gone anywhere. He has a girlfriend and, actually, the last time I saw him out, I got terribly fed up with his teasing and I said, "How about we're just friends. That way you can keep up this casual flirting and I still get to look at you but neither of us is confused about where it's going."

So, this "Are you coming?" comment was quite confusing. Sitting at the bar confused, I wrote back: "What about your girlfriend and what happened to just being friends?" His response?? "F*ck that" Great!! I had planned to go out with Mo, get back to my car and then drive to my apartment and crash in my own bed around 2:30, 3 AM. I changed right from work and all and so I found myself texting D the Cop back: "I didn't plan on crashing with anyone so I haven't shaved my legs and I've got work at 7:45 AM. If I came over, we're sleeping. If you're cool with that, text me back directions to your place."

Uh, he sent his directions...

On route, I stopped at a Wawa and when I came back out to my car (the whole two seconds I was in there!), my car was dead - wouldn't start, no lights, etc. So, I call my parents in my desperation: "Yea, I know you think I'm in Central Jersey, but I'm not. I'm local and my car is dead."

It was about 2 AM!

No one in Wawa knows anything about cars, the one guy that showed up in the middle of the night didn't know anything (I asked a stranger!) and so I just gave up and waited for my parents to show up ... while on the phone with my sister, a very familiar trucks goes by ... BandJ's to be pretty exact! Go figure D the Cop lives like right around the flippin corner from BandJ's home! Of all the times to spot one another, I'm in a dead car, freezing and waiting for my car to be fixed/swap cars with my parents to head to a guy's house (oh yea, a guy who has a girlfriend too!).

Randomly, while I'm sulking/kicking myself over being at Wawa at 2:30 AM, some guy asked if I needed my car jumped. I said I really didn't know, but I'd appreciate it ... I'd been freezing in my car for awhile at this point. I explained my battery was brand new and so it might just be something loose ... so he looked, tightened some knobs and ta dah! It worked!!! I was so freaking excited that I jumped and hugged the guy! :) He had me turn my car on and everything while he waited to make sure that it stayed working too. So nice! Sooo nice. Good Samaritan, thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I told my parents not to show up and I headed to D the Cop's house. After waiting in my freezing, dead car in arctic winds and then having to go around trying to find D the Cop's condo, I was frozen!! I just wanted somewhere/someone warm - definitely not to drive all the way back to my apartment. So, I headed to D to Cop's and I was so cold by the time I got there that I couldn't stop shivering. Awful! Oh and then to cap off the night, I showed up at D the Cop's house and he's got I Am Legend on - I walk in like just in time to watch the guy kill his dog! I was so ready for the day to be done ... but, uh, I'm not going to complain about how much later I stayed up either. ;)

So, crossed the river, consumed some alcohol, saw pro-hockey players, there was dancing, a dead car, suffering from the super cold, spotting BandJ and making out with someone that has a girlfriend... I think it's safe to say that all that is way too much for one night!

Oh, and this song has been stuck in my head:




I really like the one part:
My love is like a blanket
That gets a little bit too warm sometimes
I wanna wrap somebody in it
Who can hold me in his arms