I made out with this guy recently and I've been putting some thought into situations such as this one. I'm terribly weird when it comes to stuff like this, I think.
A lot of people feel that's extremely personal, that you should invest some more into a relationship before giving yourself over in any way to a guy (or doing some of the stuff that went on with this guy, at least) ... but I didn't do anything I didn't want and he didn't do anything much to me. That's how I keep my "innocence" or my lack of a connection to a person, I think. I don't let them do much to me. I think there are certain situations where I can be there enough to satisfy someone else, but not really invest much of me into it or that person ... and kind of keep myself out of the situation. Does that make sense?
I mean, don't get me wrong, there are definitely things I won't do for personal reasons, such as really bad experiences on my part ... and I'm just filled with bad sexual experiences, honestly. I want to laugh at that and yet, seriously, it's so sad.
Anyway, anyway, I can also tell a guy I don't do something, but not explain why - explaining why is the personal part of it for me. Invest more in being with me emotionally and maybe you'd be informed & understand (like guys care about that anyway!). For example, I once made out with this beautiful, beautiful guy who was nice and funny and friends with my roommate's best friend (not one night stand kinda thing, I was definitely going to be seeing a lot of him) and the whole night was definitely leading to sex in the mind of anyone in that situation, but I stopped him. He thought I was probably being a tease because I stopped him after all this time ... when actuality I was a virgin and whoa! this is the most I'd ever done in this amount of time with someone ever at that point. Here, I let him do all those things to me, but I couldn't verbally expose myself to him.
Do you think that's weird???
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"We allow our ignorance to prevail upon us and make us think we can survive alone, alone in patches, alone in groups, alone in races, even alone in genders." -Maya Angelou ~ I don't want to be alone, so fill my little world up, please
Hello, my name is Jenga Jenny and I seem to keep picking the wrong puzzle piece for me. Whether you are a frequent friend or a visitor just stopping in, I’m glad you’ve found your way here and know you will never wear out your welcome.
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I will confess what some of you may already suspect: I have never been in a relationship. Though I have dated guys, I have only been on maybe one “adult date” and have never actually had a traditional, out loud and defined "boyfriend". My longest time with a guy was with a jerk (BandJ) and the closest man to my heart was with a guy who outlined our time together as a “no emotions” make-out arrangement of sorts. Please read, think on and comment as I make the journey to improve myself as an individual and maybe somewhere along the way run into some guy to finally call my own.
Visits Since 12/01/09
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My crazy ramblings here do not in any way represent the ideals or thoughts of my employers’ past, present, and ever exciting future. Nor those of friends, co-workers, family members, fellow volunteers or innocent bystanders. I express opinions here which are solely my own. Names have been altered to protect those caught in my little world. I also do not take responsibility for the comment-fairy that flies in and erases mean and hurtful comments. I hope you enjoy …. though this may hurt a little bit! (But that’s entirely your own fault, not mine!)
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