hoping for silly things...

There was a crazy party last night that I went to hoping to run into someone who was supposed to be there - he's not all that nice, but so cute - ah, story of my life (I need to work on that bad habit). He ended up not showing, sadly, but other athletes were there and one was pretty cute (note: noticing someone else isn't bad. Like I said, this guy I was hoping to see I've barely even talked to. He's also simply a cute guy I've seen out a few times and developed a crush on since he's so damn attractive). Anyway, anyway - I didn't want to just approach this random cute guy at the party though. I'm a bit shy at times and was, secretly, hoping he'd approach me - especially with Mo repeatedly telling me that this guy was checking me out.

However, because of who these guys are, there are these hoochie girls that hang around and pretty much throw themselves at the athletes (and their friends too if necessary). It's awful and so, so disgusting. Let's just say that half the things I have heard that some of these girls have done I would never even think up, let alone consider. Ick! Ick! Ick!

I want to go out on a date, hang out, talk some and just chill. I keep going out to places like that party last night or this South Philly bar we see the athletes out at and I go thinking these guys will suddenly realize I have a lot to offer and approach me. In reality though that's not the case. When it comes to these guys, I just can't seem to compete with girls willing to get like gang banged ... and I would never sink to that that level. In fact, last night when the cute guy was finally alone (after he'd been with this one girl who was at some point with one of like three different guys), my friend was like: "Now's your chance. Go up to him." All I could think was (oh, and I said this out loud too), "Ugh, no. An STD was not my goal for the night."

So what do I do? I try to comfort myself with the thought they're athletes and probably too dumb to have a conversation with anyway. Sad and shallow of me, but true.