Desperate For A Date

Desperate for a date to Perfect Couple's wedding this weekend, I finally asked BandJ again ... even though he told me before that his schedule for August was "indefinitely closed" (jerk). I thought maybe with the wedding being just a week away, he might know better whether or not he'd actually be free and around. I mean, he was free and had an open schedule when I texted him about it again - not just free, but he actually called me - not just a text back, he called ... this was definitely shocking!

However, in our phone conversation BandJ ended up patronizing me pretty much the whole time and made me sound like such an inconvenience (reminding me he works in another state now, it's a new job, he asked for off, but who knew if the boss would allow it, all the driving, etc) and then he even asked several times, "How bad do you want me there? How bad?"

Uh! I wanted to vomit. Ok, maybe not vomit, but I did honestly fight the urge to hang up. The best I could do was "Well, I need a date" and "Don't do me any favors." I just felt like he thought I was right under his thumb and he was really enjoying it ... where as, in reality, I've been tormented over what to do about him. I don't like him anymore - for me to get to this point is just amazing. Normally I'm holding on tightly even as guys like him neglect me or try to brush me away or treat me awfully ... and he certainly has. Not just before, but this time around too. That conversation alone, patronizing me like I need things broken down and as if just talking to me is some sort of favor from him to me - please!

But I needed a date, so I fought the urge to vomit and/or hang up ... and his 2/3rds of a yes (he had off, but his new job might call for overtime this weekend, which would mess everything up, so he wasn't going to say yes when I asked, but would let me know Monday night - yesterday) turned into a yes to him being free and my date for Perfect Couple's wedding. Wasn't I happy?! - he actually asked me that! Happy wasn't exactly the right word...

However, between BandJ's 2/3rds of a yes and definite yes, I asked someone else to go with me too. I ran into DancingD at a keg party last week and he's just always nice to see - funny, smiley, seems like he's nice to everyone and seems to just fit in wherever - playing blackjack or talking politics. Though I only see him randomly, I've had fun every time I do, so I asked him. Why not!? I asked him and not long after BandJ's 2/3rds of a yes turned into a whole yes, DancingD said yes too! Not only that, but he said he didn't care that he wouldn't really know anyone or that he had to dress up. He seemed totally laid back and excited about the whole thing - what a relief ... and welcome change from how BandJ was acting about being asked.

So, how to uninvite BandJ??? Hmmm... I figure I had to since DancingD was so gracious to just agree to come, especially when me asking him must have seemed pretty random. He was doing me such a favor too since, honestly I was worried about going with BandJ. I saw the night with BandJ going two ways:

1) He'd be ridiculous nice, fun and charming and I'd end up liking him ... which would end up with him chastising me with some sort of conversation about how he likes his options and where do I get off developing feelings. The night would be good, but the repercussions would be awful.

OR

2) BandJ would end up being a big jerk. The night would be filled with sarcastic comments and his ego and him making those little digs at me like he can sometimes ... and maybe my friend Kris punching him in the nose if any of that was directed at her too (she knows him as well). It would be a miserable night.
Oh, and I figure either scenario would end with him expecting me to go home with him, which made me feel nothing but contempt - yes, I know there is something terribly wrong with the situation when I'm not looking forward to sleeping with him!!

There was no good way to tell BandJ. After talking with a friend, I figured a bit of a white lie was probably the most kind (and easiest) case for all ... and thankfully that's the route I went with since he ended up being not very nice at all even with my white lie.

me 12:52pm: I know you're off already and said you'd go, but someone else I asked is free and excited and knows Bean's date so I'm gonna go with him so they can hang out
BandJ: Dont ask me for nothing again. Go fuck yourself!

I didn't respond. Nothing good would come of it. Oh, and maybe it's silly, but it irks me. It's "ask me for ANYthing again", a$shole. I think that's what you were shooting for.

Hours later, he sent: Is this one of your stunts to throw in my face?

I didn't respond to that either, but I think that last comment pissed me off more than his first response. I don't pull that kind of childish bullsh*t and, I'm sorry, but, even if I did, you're not worth that effort. I'm not pulling any "stunts" now to throw in your face, nor have I before like you're implying.

I swear to god, BandJ has like his completely own made up memory of events.

Oh and just to make me feel a bit better, when I told Kris I found a different date than BandJ, it went like this:
me: I've got someone other than BandJ for the wedding :-) No need to worry about any
of his jerky sarcastic comments (which she had complained about recently ... he does seem to be full of them recently)
Kris: Woo hoo!

I shouldn't worry about him nor whether or not he likes me still or damage control, but I still kinda do. ::sigh:: He is mad now and maybe he'll stay mad, but I think Saturday is going to be an absolutely awesome time. That's what I'm going to focus on!

Totally unrelated, but still important: my thoughts go up and out to babcia. You're missed. I'm sorry I was too sick to be able to say goodbye. I know AliCat misses you terribly and so do I. Thanks for always being so smiley and treating me like family. All my love, Kocham cię